Moving towards the whist-tables, [Lydgate] got interested in watching Mr Farebrother's play, which was masterly, and also his face, which was a striking mixture of the shrewd and the mild.

A few weekends ago I was invited to a fundraiser for the Kinloch Historical Association and there were tables playing bid whist. Kinloch was for most of its existence known as a black city, in fact, "Missouri's First Black City." I didn't want to jump into a game I didn't know how to play, so I stuck with bingo. I am curious, though, so I looked up the rules on Bicycle Cards' website: 

Number of Players

Four people can play in partnerships of two against two, though there were more people around the tables at the Dellwood Community Center than four. My coworker Simone played, but my supervisor Joni and I sat alone at a big table on the outskirts of the bingo crowd. We were the only white people in the room. 

The Pack

The standard 52-card pack is used. As in many bridge games, two packs of cards of contrasting back design are recommended. While one pack is being dealt, the other can be shuffled for the next deal. Again, I don't know what was being dealt at the bid whist table, but I had a cardboard bingo card with green sliding plastic windows. It was pretty cute, actually. I don't mind bingo. But then, I don't mind things that are slow that bore other people. Plus, I was pretty tipsy from a long day of drinking with Lauren and Ryan. We'd gone to the Missouri History Museum to see the exhibit on the Mill Creek community of St. Louis. It turned out to be a day about vanishing black communities. 

Rank of Cards

A (high), K, Q, J, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2. (In drawing for partners and deal, however, ace is low.) You know whose rank was real low at the Kinloch Historical Association's fundraiser? Vegetarians. All the food was meat, so what was I to eat? I did have a couple of Joni's nachos, but really, if you are going to tell people they can't bring food have something for them to eat. Joni brought her "Aunt Joni's Negronis," which were fast having an effect on me and my empty stomach. The minutes stretched out. For a game night, there were no games being played for at least an hour. 

The Deal

The dealer gives each player one card at a time, face down, beginning with the player on his left, until they come to the last card. The last card is the trump card. Here's the deal. I was already feeling pretty awkward. I felt uneasy about attending in the first place. I don't have any tie to Kinloch. But I had been specifically invited from one of the council members of the Historical Association and it was a fundraiser. I'd heard her give Joni a hard time once for not coming out for another event so I felt I really should go. But then, it seems this was also marketed as a “Kinloch Reunion,” which was absolutely not part of my invite. I kept drinking, as though another sip would quiet my uncomfortable self-consciousness. 

The Trump Card

The dealer places the last card of the pack face up on the table, and every card of its suit becomes a trump. When it is the dealer's turn to play to the first trick, they pick up the trump card and it becomes part of the dealer's hand. I followed Joni's lead. We talked to each other, we didn't mingle. We gave our money, I bought raffle tickets, Joni bought "set ups" and food, we'd brought our own drinks. Rounds went by, bingos were called, but not ours. Okay, it was kind of boring. I started looking around at other tables. 

Object of the Game

Each of the partnerships tries to score points by taking any trick in excess of six. The partnership with the most points at the end of play wins the game. One of the ladies from the Kinloch Historical Association approached me to inform me that I was making someone uncomfortable. He felt I was looking at him too much. I think I blacked out. I grabbed my bag and texted Howard to pick me up. 

The Play

The turn to play is in clockwise rotation. The player on the dealer's left leads first and may play any card. Each player in turn plays a card, following suit if possible. If you cannot follow suit, a player may play any card. Four cards played (including the card led) constitute a trick.

A trick is won by the person who played the highest trump. Any trick not containing a trump is won by the person who played the highest card of the suit led. The winner of each trick leads next. 

I was mortified. Humiliated. The next day felt unreal, like I was floating. I couldn't tell Howard what had happened. Neither Joni nor Simone said anything on Monday. I wondered vaguely if I'd imagined the interaction, if my anxiety and the alcohol and lack of food had contrived to make some sort of nightmare in my mind. The days passed, I felt detached from everyone who I encountered, suspicious. I know what you think of me now, I thought with every interaction: I know I make you uncomfortable, so you overcompensate by being chummy. Just as long as you get what you want out of me. Fuck that. Or maybe I think they are playing a game they aren't. Maybe it didn't happen? But inside, I believe it did.

How to Keep Score

Each odd trick (a trick in excess of six) counts one point for the side winning it. That same week, a man who had been so friendly to me, always stopping to chat, got kicked out of the library. His parting shot was that the place is "full of faggots." There it is, in the open! Hard not to take that personally. The homophobia is everywhere, undercurrent. The woman who invited me finally comes by. She leans across the desk and whispers: "If my cousin in any way offended you, I apologize. He's an idiot. I didn't know about it until after it happened." I felt dizzy, with relief, I think. Not for the apology, but for the acknowledgement that it happened.